Again, it's been awhile since I've posted an update as life has been keeping me rather busy. My dad and his significant other, Maureen, came out to visit over Memorial Day weekend and got to meet Shay in person for the first time. I don't know if I've ever really seen my dad hold a baby so it was really sweet to see him with Shay. Darn, never did get him to change a diaper while he was here (more for my own amusement than anything)! Here are a couple of photos of their visit:
Grandpa Dennis holding Shay for the first time
At Jeff's parent's house
The biggest adjustment for our little family has been me returning to work. I started back on June 1st and it has been bittersweet. It was so, so hard to leave Shay that first week and I cried every morning. This week has proven easier because I'm totally more at ease after seeing just how well Jeff did with Shay on his own. Not only is he so patient and loving with her, but he's even taken on more household chores than ever before. He told me he wants me to be able to come home from work and just be able to relax and spend time with our baby. He's even been planning meals, cooking & taken Shay grocery shopping with him on a couple of occasions! Which, incidently, causes the women at the grocery store to flock. Apparently a man with a cute puppy isn't the only thing that causes women to coo...a man grocery shopping with a baby seems to have the same effect!
Not gonna lie...it is sometimes very hard for me to be in a position where I have to be the financial provider, especially now that I feel like I'm going to be missing out on so much with Shay . I've even outright resented it at times. And I'm already experiencing "working mom guilt" which is that nagging bugger that comes along uninvited and tugs at your heart way more often than anyone would like. When I'm at work and any moment that I'm not spending with Shay when I'm not working brings with it a pang of guilt. That's one of the things no one tells you when you get pregnant...how much guilt comes along with becoming a parent!
Not gonna lie...it is sometimes very hard for me to be in a position where I have to be the financial provider, especially now that I feel like I'm going to be missing out on so much with Shay . I've even outright resented it at times. And I'm already experiencing "working mom guilt" which is that nagging bugger that comes along uninvited and tugs at your heart way more often than anyone would like. When I'm at work and any moment that I'm not spending with Shay when I'm not working brings with it a pang of guilt. That's one of the things no one tells you when you get pregnant...how much guilt comes along with becoming a parent!
Why am I choosing to share this brutal honesty? Because "perspective" has become my word of the day. And I hope I can encourage anyone who might be struggling with some of the same feelings with this:
I really can't (and truly don't want to) complain because I know I am so very blessed. When I feel overwhelmed with bearing the weight of being the financial provider and missing out on time with my baby, I just have to focus on how blessed I am to have a good job working with so many good people that affords us to have our home, pay our bills, provides great medical benefits, allows one of us to be at home with Shay instead of having to put her in daycare, etc. I'm so grateful that I know she is at home with her daddy who is taking care of her and raising her the way we both want her to be raised. I give major props to single parents who manage it all. They are to be commended for the amazing amount of hard work that goes into raising and providing for a child on their own. I don't ever want to take for granted that I have a wonderful husband by my side who is my partner in parenting and in life, who loves me, our daughter and, most importantly, God. I am so grateful that Shay is a healthy, beautiful, bright-eyed baby who brings so much joy into our lives. So many people have loved and lost or never loved at all but I get to come home every night to my two favorite people in the world.
I really can't (and truly don't want to) complain because I know I am so very blessed. When I feel overwhelmed with bearing the weight of being the financial provider and missing out on time with my baby, I just have to focus on how blessed I am to have a good job working with so many good people that affords us to have our home, pay our bills, provides great medical benefits, allows one of us to be at home with Shay instead of having to put her in daycare, etc. I'm so grateful that I know she is at home with her daddy who is taking care of her and raising her the way we both want her to be raised. I give major props to single parents who manage it all. They are to be commended for the amazing amount of hard work that goes into raising and providing for a child on their own. I don't ever want to take for granted that I have a wonderful husband by my side who is my partner in parenting and in life, who loves me, our daughter and, most importantly, God. I am so grateful that Shay is a healthy, beautiful, bright-eyed baby who brings so much joy into our lives. So many people have loved and lost or never loved at all but I get to come home every night to my two favorite people in the world.
No, I cannot complain. My life is so full of blessings. It's more than I deserve.
11 weeks old
Darling, you deserve it all!! You really really do! You certainly are an inspiration to me, and someday when I have kids, I hope to remember all of the great advice that you've given from your experiences. Much love to you, Jeff and Miss Shay. :) See you in about an hour. ;)
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