Kyla's Birth Story (4 1/2 Months Later!)

I know it's really late, but I wanted to write out Kyla's birth story. I could have shared it earlier but I enjoyed my maternity leave and have been keeping very busy between taking care of the girls & work that I didn't want to take time out of living life to document it. I have learned so much over the past year that I am excited to share if nothing more than to get it out if my head & have it on record for years down the road as details might get lost over time.

If anyone were to have told me a year ago that I would one day consider my pregnancy with Shay as the easier one, I would have thought they were all kinds of crazy. I'll share more about my second HG pregnancy experience in a future post but I mention it now because it played a big role in the kind of birth I had.

With Shay, I had a spontaneous, all-natural birth after taking Lamaze classes and it was absolutely textbook. I was still in the labor and delivery room when I told Jeff that I'd do a natural birth all over again if we ever had another.  It was a high like no other. Fast forward 4+ years after a much harder pregnancy and the story was different. My OB/Gyn, Dr. Mackey, thought it would be good to induce me as I was so run down, in pain, not sleeping and had HG flaring back up (which leads to dehydration and low amniotic fluid among other things). Though I do believe spontaneous labor is the best case scenario, after much talking with my doctor and Jeff, I decided to go through with the induction.

On the morning of Thursday June 5, 2014, we headed to Centennial Women & Children's Hospital to have a baby! Jeff's parents picked Shay up the night before. We arrived at 7:00am to fill out paperwork, get settled into a labor & delivery room, and get hooked up to IV fluids. Sometime around 9:00am, Dr. Mackey came busting into the room excitedly telling us all about the CMT Music Awards the night before that I had gotten her tickets to. I had joked with her that she wasn't allowed to deliver my baby with a hangover, LOL!

Pitocin was started shortly after and my water was broken. We had an absolutely amazing nurse who made everything so much easier. At some point after pitocin was started, my blood pressure dropped. I wasn't too concerned as that is what generally happens when I'm sick or stressed. The nurse asked me if I was feeling okay and I remember her messing with my IV stand. Jeff tells me I started mumbling non-sense and she had to "put sugar in (my) IV."  Recall kind of feeling light-headed at one point but that was really the only hiccup in the process.

When asked if I wanted an epidural, I was completely torn. I knew that induced labors are more painful and can last much longer than spontaneous ones which made me nervous. Still unsure, I opted to go natural but be open to an epidural and see how it went. Several hours later, contractions were getting intense and the nurse checked me. I had only progressed to about 3 1/2cm but the contraction pain felt like it did when I was at 8cm with my first labor. The nurse told me that "Pit is mean stuff" and had the anesthesiologist come talk with me. I asked him a ton of questions, finally opting to go with the epi because I wasn't really progressing much and didn't know if it would be hours upon hours of more labor.

I was actually really nervous about an epidural. I handle needles just fine (you have to with HG). It's the thought of one going so near my spinal cord that freaks me out. I know people who had complications from them or had them not work properly so I wasn't too keen on the idea. However, after so much pain for months on end paired with coaxing from Jeff and the nurse, I opted to go with it. Everything went really smoothly. It was easier than a PICC placement and that wasn't even bad at all.

One of the things I had discussed with the nurse was hearing of epidurals only numbing one side. She explained that they work with gravity and made sure to shift me from one side to the other. I knew epidurals numbed pain but I had no idea to what extent. I felt absolutely nothing. Went from painful contractions to no pain whatsoever! Jeff laughed at me when I told him I felt like I was cheating. He also kept saying I was  "comfortably numb."

Around 3:30pm, I was only at 4 1/2cm which was discouraging so I decided I'd try to sleep a little. The nurse shifted me to my other side and walked out of the room. Very shortly after, I began feeling really intense pressure but not pain. Since we discussed epidurals working with gravity, I just figured I was suddenly feeling a lot of pressure due to switching sides and it would subside. Though still not in pain, the pressure grew even more. A different nurse came into the room looking for a supply of something and I asked her if the pressure was normal. She said my nurse would be back shortly but that she could check me if I wanted her to. I started to say that I'd wait but midway through changed my mind. She came over and immediately said I was at 10cm. It never even crossed my mind that I could have dialated that much that fast!

My nurse came back quickly and said that I could start pushing but stressed that if she told me to stop, I had to immediately do just that. When I had Shay naturally, there was absolutely no way I could have stopped pushing. I had heard that sometimes epidurals are lowered in order for the mom to have enough feeling to know when to push. I still felt no pain with mine. Midway through the third push, the nurse urgently told me to stop and said we had to wait for Dr. Mackey who, thankfully, was located in the building next to the hospital and arrived just a couple of minutes later. Had the nurse not stopped me, the baby would have been born before Dr. Mackey got there. Once she did, it was literally one push and Kyla was out.

The most memorable moments were as soon as just born Kyla was placed in my arms and she just looked at me. I mean really looked at me. She was so calm and quiet just staring into my soul. I will never forget it. My entire pregnancy was so difficult that I didn't even feel connected to the baby; she felt like a parasite making me sick and causing pain, not my precious daughter. I hate to admit it but I share in case anyone else is experiencing it. It broke my heart that I was not emotionally bonded with her. It made me feel like a terrible mom. All of that vanished the instant she looked into my eyes and I into hers, I loved her. Our bond is even that much closer now that we both made it through HG. I cannot really describe it but I am so incredibly grateful.

Life with Kyla has been such a joy. She is generally a very calm baby and she started sleeping through the night right at 6 weeks, something I didn't think was even possible! Now, at 4 months old, she is smiling a lot and starting to giggle.  She's a tough customer though - we really have to work to get her to laugh.  She often gives us little amused smiles that I swear are courtesy smiles :)

Shay has been amazing with the arrival of her baby sister.  We were worried that she might be jealous but she loves Kyla and has been helpful and so sweet to her, talking to her, guarding her from curious cats and taking "paci duty."

Kyla just minutes after birth. I'm so glad Jeff got this shot.  It's a moment I'll never forget.

Shay meeting her baby sister for the very first time.

My girls!

Jeff got the first poopy diaper!

Guess it wore them both out ;)

Shay holding Kyla for the first time
Heading home from the hospital

M.I.A.

Sorry I've been M.I.A. for a month but continuing to say "no news on the adoption front" gets to be old after awhile.

That and I've had a lot of time off of work lately due to the fact that my company changed its time off policy and we can no longer roll over vacation time each year.  Since our fiscal year begins in October, I have until September 30th to use my vacation before I lose it.  Since I had been hoarding my vacation days in anticipation of adoption placement, I suddenly found myself with weeks worth of days to take off (which is most definitely not a bad "problem" to have).  I took off a lot of time in August and September which I did not feel bad about seeing as I've been with the company for over 10 years now and have earned those days.  One would think that I would have blogged more but I didn't feel like spending much of my time off in front of a computer and I just didn't have much to write about in regard to the adoption.  

Shay has continued to do great in school.  She seems to love going and her favorite activities are morning songs, daily work (which we still haven't figured out what that consists of), lunch time and playground time.  When we drop her off in the morning, school staff help her get out of the car, put her backpack on and she makes a beeline for the entrance to the school.  Pick up time is our favorite because it is absolutely adorable to see the parade of 3 and 4 year olds coming out of the school, all looking so cute in their little uniforms.  

Our little turtle waddling her way into school

Pajama Day

Shay is always ravenous when she gets out of school because her class goes to lunch at the earliest time slot of 10:30am.  By the time we get her home, she eats like a teenage boy.  We're wondering if she is also ready to or going through a growth spurt.  Because she naturally regulates her eating (some days not wanting much and refusing her favorite foods and others eating like a bottomless pit), we really let her stick to her natural flow.  While we do try to be consistent with meal times, I don't pay a lot of attention to the parenting advice that says to convert your kids to a strict 3 meal a day schedule because it teaches them to eat when they're not hungry and kills their natural ability to regulate appetite.  It is widely argued that it is healthier for humans to eat small portions more frequently throughout the day to regulate blood sugar, foster healthy metabolism, etc.  Since Shay checks out at her pediatrician visits and a "perfectly healthy" child who is in the 30th percentile for weight even while being in the 90th percentile for height and only in the 10th percentile for BMI so she's trim and healthy.  Now if only I could get her to eat more veggies.

Today is her first "school picture day."  After a whole lot of drama, I managed to get her hair curled.  I hope they turn out cute but they could serve a funny purpose later in life if they turn out awkward .  These pictures will only follow her around for the rest of her life.  No pressure kid ;)

Another reason I was off the radar as of late was due to a week long trip to New Mexico.  We had a wonderful time and got to see Jeff's folks and several of his relatives.  Shay had a great time being spoiled and doing all kinds of fun things.  I figured I'd illustrate the highlights of our trip in pictures.

Shay with Mimi & Papa at one of their favorite Mexican restaurants

Chasing pigeons out of Nana's yard

Riding the bike that Nana gave her

Shay & Nana (her great-grandmother)

Jeff & Shay in front of the house featured on Breaking Bad as Walter White's place

Jeff, *ahem* I mean Heisenberg, with blue rock candy from The Candy Lady shop (they made the rock candy that was used to portray the blue meth in seasons 1 & 2 of Breaking Bad)

Quick trip to Rebel Donuts for the Blue Sky donuts inspired by Breaking Bad.  The photo in the back is of actor Aaron Paul who played Jesse Pinkman in the series.

Shay with her Great Uncle Jerry and Great Aunt Laura at their home in Rio Rancho

Cousin Elisabeth leading Shay on Diva

Learning to feed the horses

Elephant Butte Lake (the skies in New Mexico are beautiful and endless)

Shay finally got to build her much-anticipated sand castles

Mommy & Shay playing at the lake

Shay with her Nana, Mimi, Papa & Daddy

Feeding the crazy tame squirrels at the Elephant Butte Dam

Shay, Papa & a couple of new furry friends

Daddy & Shay riding the ferris wheel at the New Mexico State Fair

Daddy & Shay after riding on The Comet II, supposedly the world's largest traveling roller coaster.  Shay insisted and loved it...dare devil!

Learning the fine art of cow milking

At the rodeo

Four Generations

One more photo with Nana before we headed back to the airport

Jeff & me with our baby and Larry & Kay with their baby (Scarlett)

The T.P. "art" waiting for us upon our return home (gee, thank you Norman & Nuisance)

The Calm Before the {Good} Storm

Just a quick Sunday night update since I'm back at work tomorrow and kicking into another full week.

Shay is doing great with preschool.  She had her first full week last week and is now going Mon-Fri from 8am-3pm, a regular full school day.  She likes her teacher and is always happy when we pick her up.  We really could not have asked for a smoother transition.  I have somehow already found myself doing several volunteer PTO projects but figured I'd do them now while we're in this calm period before we find ourselves with an infant and possibly some other big changes to life as we know it.

We haven't heard any news yet regarding the adoption.  We probably won't until Baby is born.  

In the meantime, we've pretty much prepped the nursery and I've been working on figuring out my work schedule and adoptive leave.  I'll be getting things in place this week to have coverage as I plan to take 3 months off of work when Baby comes.  

As much as we loved our formal dining room table set, we sold it on Craigslist and replaced it with a new sleeper sofa with a queen size pull out bed.  We've also moved Shay's train table into the room which will function as a play room/guest "bedroom" for when we have out-of-town guests.  We so rarely ever used the room as a formal dining room so, with our growing family, this makes much more sense.  We are happy to now have a bed for guests again so come visit us (especially if you want to take a middle-of-the-night baby shift or two)!

To answer a common question:  Yes, we have a name.  No, we are not sharing it.  There are two reasons for this.  #1. We do not want to officially share her name until she is in our arms (there is a chance that the adoption will not go through so we are trying to guard our hearts a bit by not sharing the name).  #2. Since her due date, gender, race and whatnot are all known, we want to have one thing be a surprise.

I wanted to extend our deepest gratitude to our family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, pastor, basically everyone who has supported us in so many ways during this adoption process.  Everything from prayer to friendship to supporting our fundraiser to offering encouragement & help with Baby...we have been so blessed by all of it.  The outpouring of love we have received after getting The Call has been nothing short of amazing.  Our family is so thankful for all of you and we are so very happy to be welcoming Baby into all of that love.  

Adoption of a Different Kind

We just might be crazy.  We welcomed a new face to our home this afternoon on an introductory basis to see if we want to adopt him.  He's friendly, handsome and hairy.  And he's also a cat.  Meet "Mr. Kitty."

"Mr. Kitty" (who will get a real name if we adopt him)

"Mr. Kitty" comes to us by way of our community lost & found pets group.  He was found in a neighborhood a few weeks ago and, despite numerous attempts to find his owners, no one has claimed him.  A very generous woman paid to have him vetted (neutered, shots, flea/mite treatment, testing, etc.) and another has been fostering him but cannot take him in and didn't have an alternative but to put him back where he was found - without a home.  Soooo, we are taking him for a few days to see how he and Nuisance work out.  They are close to the same age and even look similar (although "Mr. Kitty" is larger).  If they get along, then we'll probably officially adopt him.  We figured it might be good for Nuisance to have a play buddy especially with Shay starting school full -time in less than two weeks (Yikes, that's a whole 'nother blog posting!).  

On the human adoption front, no news other than the fact that our adoption agency is now going to automatically let us know when our profile books are being shown to birth mothers.  Some people do not want to know this information as they do not want to get their hopes up every time their profile is shown. We figured it would help us determine how long we want to renew our home study for.  Where it might be discouraging if we find our profile is being shown a lot and we're not being selected, it would also be encouraging to know that our adoption agency is actively working with us.  It might be more discouraging if our profile isn't getting shown at all.  However, I am not expecting much activity because our agency is working with 40+ adoptive families (some are pursuing international adoptions but the majority are pursuing domestic adoption) and they are only currently working with 7 birth mothers, not all of who will opt to make an adoption plan.  At this point, we really haven't put much consideration into independent domestic adoption or going with another agency because it is all really overwhelming and we want to see where this current path leads.

Meet Nuisance

We’ve adopted! Before you get too excited, I have to clarify that we’ve adopted a kitten.

With Stu’s passing, we really felt that we wanted Shay (and Baby #2) to have a furry faced friend to grow up with. We figured sooner rather than later as it would give the kitten a chance to settle in and grow up a little before we add an infant to the mix. That and, it was very sad when we had our first night at home without an animal. We had Stu and Aslan for most of our marriage and the house felt strangely empty without an animal sharing it with us.

Jeff and I had always thought it would be funny to name a cat “Nuisance.” I found this little guy on a local animal sanctuary’s website and immediately fell in love with his photo and personality description. Sure enough, he was super friendly and ridiculously cute in person. We immediately adopted him (man, it is sooooo much easier to adopt a kitten than a baby, LOL!). On the way home, I told Jeff that I didn’t think “Nuisance” fit him as he was such a sweet, pretty kitten. Jeff was pretty set on it though and said, “Oh, just give it a couple of days and he will live up to his name.” So, I went along with it. And he has lived up to his name. He’s so friendly that he wants to get right up in your face. The first night at home, he woke us both up at random times with his nose right up our nostrils! When he’s not sleeping, he likes to pounce on everything that moves including us. Typical kitten hijinks though. He’s a lot of fun & we love him already.

Shay enjoys playing with Nuisance and loves dangling his feather cat toy suspended on a rope in front of him. He chases after her with it and she just squeals with delight. We think they will be good buddies growing up.

Goodbye Stu

On Tuesday we said goodbye to Stu, our pet cat. She was 15 years old and had been with Jeff since 1999. Tuesday night was the first night at home that we didn’t have any pet with us and it felt really sad and strange. It’s amazing how much you get used to seeing an animal lounging somewhere in the house or following you around (or trying to avoid Shay).

A few days ago, I explained to Shay that Stu was getting ready to go to Heaven. She said, “Stu go to Heaven with Azzy” and continued to repeat that over the past couple of days. This morning she woke up and the first words out of her mouth were, "Stu's in Heaven."  She has only ever known having a pet around so we weren’t sure how she was going to react. She cried once but that was pretty much it and she doesn’t appear to be too sad. I don’t think she really understands at 2, almost 3, years old. Or perhaps I have that completely wrong and her young, child’s heart has a better grasp of Heaven than my 30 year old mind can comprehend.

Neither Jeff nor I expected that Stu would pass just 6 months after we lost Aslan. We figured she’d be around forever seeing as how she survived being mauled by 5 dogs and lived through a bad spider bite. It was her time though and we’re glad that she was able to spend her last days at home with us where she was comfortable. We will miss her funny, quirky personality, her loud purrs when she was being petted or brushed and the way she’d chase Jeff around grabbing at his ankles when she was feeling particularly frisky.

After much discussion, Jeff and I decided that we do want Shay to grow up with a pet. Since we’re awaiting adoption of a baby, we wanted to go with a lower maintenance pet so we will get her a kitten, not a puppy. While it in no way will replace Stu in our hearts, we hope that a kitten will provide a little buddy for Shay that can grow up with her and hopefully be around most, if not all, of her childhood.

A Great Start to 2013...

Today we got the official word that our home study has been approved!

Tomorrow morning, Jeff & Shay will drop off our family profile books and we will officially be a waiting family. It feels great to have all of the paperwork, interviews, study sessions, home visits, etc. completed. Moreover, it’s very exciting to be at the point of knowing that we could get a call at any time informing us of a match. This could be the year that we welcome a baby into our family!

I fully understand that our wait may be long. In fact I’ve been so prepared that adoption can be a long process that I need to work on mentally preparing myself in the off-chance that it might be a short process at this point. Either way, I trust that God has the timing and the child so I will wait and enjoy our family as it is right now. Shay is into everything and we get more glimpses into her personality each and every day so the present is just as exciting as anticipation of what the future holds.

Special thanks to my mom, Jeff’s dad, Pastor John, Chris S. & Jon B. for taking the time to complete the references for us for our home study. The paperwork states that we received 5 “favorable” references. Yes, some may agree with Jon who pointed out that our agency must have a loose definition of the term “favorable!"

In other news, we returned from a week-long trip to Minnesota over Christmas. Though we brought back a couple of extra “presents” (colds for Shay & me), we were so happy to see family and catch up with some old friends. We stayed at my brother & sister-in-law’s house and got to meet our insanely cute niece Leah in person for the first time. Despite being on the tail end of a cold, she was all smiles. Shay discovered the joys of sledding, playing in the snow, ice skating with Uncle Ty and napping in front of a warm fire. Thank you to everyone for all that you did to make this Christmas special!

I brought our digital camera but never once got it out of our suitcase, so all I have to post are some photos taken on my iPhone:

Little Miss Leah

 Jeff & Shay sledding

A little boot hockey anyone?

My Mom & her 2 Granddaughters

 My Dad & his 2 Granddaughters

My Grandma with all 6 of her Great-Grandchildren - All Girls from 4 Grandchildren (as someone said during Christmas Eve, "Would somebody please have a boy?!")

It's all about the little things.  Yesterday I found out that I won a "When My Baby Dreams" calendar from Adele Enerson (creative mom extraordinaire/photographer/author/blogger) who personally messaged me to tell me that she had selected my comment on her blog as a winner of the "I Dream of..." contest.  My comment?  "I dream of holding my adopted son/daughter in my arms and introducing him/her to big sister Shay..."

I have a feeling that 2013 will be a wonderful year!  May yours be filled with good health, happiness & lots of love!

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Paper Pregnant

Pregnancy is a 9+ month wait and, in my case, filled with vomiting, excitement, vomiting, preparation, vomiting, baby classes, vomiting...

You get the point. Domestic adoption is a very different journey, yet has some similarities. Basically replace the vomiting with paperwork and plan for a longer wait time. I’ve heard it referred to as a “paper pregnancy.” I guess you can officially call us “paper pregnant” now! We just finished the last of our initial adoption forms last night and are going to turn in the pile tomorrow morning.

We still have 3 ½ study sessions to go (you must complete 4 of 8 prior to starting the official home study process). These have been interesting because, while most of the material boils down to common-sense, to someone who has never really considered the daily implications of adoption, it provides some great food for thought. It’s funny to me to be reading the adoption study books as an Asian international adoptee in the midst of a U.S. domestic adoption as one half of a mixed-race couple.

Next up: Home Study! Here’s hoping that this process is smooth sailing and we have an approved home study by the end of the year. Then we anticipate 2013 as a “wait year."

In the meantime, we’ve been enjoying some of these cooler temperatures. While the hideous Tennessee summer heat and humidity are grasping for life here and there, it’s finally starting to feel a little like fall. We had an absolutely beautiful past weekend here. And yes, I just realized I am writing about the weather. This officially makes me an old fart.

I better post some pictures before I write any more about the weather.

Shay being a little imp during her Daddy's birthday lunch

 Helping Mommy pick apples at Bottom View Farm

1/2 bushel of freshly picked apples

Tire Horse!

Polishing off a giant root beer float

 

Running on a giant jumping pillow

One of my favorite shots

Wait, I love this one too!

 

 Feeding the ducks and geese at my favorite spot in Hendersonville

 Checking out a water fountain in downtown Nashville