The Call

So you know how I've posted over and over that the domestic infant adoption process is a whole lot of hurry up and wait, followed by more waiting?  Well family & friends, our wait may very soon be over.  Today we got The Call. 

Shay and I dropped Jeff off downtown this morning.  The reason why is for another post but suffice it to say that big things are happening with our little family.  On our way home (after a small detour to purposely drive past a certain building downtown just to say "Hi Work.  I don't have to see you for another 10 days!"), I got a call from our adoption case worker.  She called on her personal cell so I didn't recognize the number and, in true Jamie fashion, proceeded to ignore my phone.  Stephanie left a voice message asking me to call her back because she had some news.

I waited until Shay and I got home before calling her back.  I figured she was simply calling to either tell us that our profile was being shown (as I mentioned a couple of posts ago) or to ask if we would be okay with the agency showing our profile if there were any questions outside of what we included in our service plan.  Stephanie asked if Jeff was with me and, when I told her "no," she asked me to get a pen and paper which I found odd.  She then proceeded to tell me that we have been chosen by a birthmother!  I was floored as she filled me in with as much information as she had available.

It was sort of a surreal moment.  I immediately called Jeff who didn't answer his phone.  It only took him about 15 minutes to call back but those were some long 15 minutes!

Here's what we know that we feel okay sharing:  The baby is a girl and she's black.  We were actually hoping for a minority baby seeing as how we're mixed race!  Birthmom is local but does not want to meet us in person at this point (may never) and does not want us to attend the birth, which we completely respect and understand.  She already has 2 children and is choosing adoption because she doesn't feel that she can provide/take care of another child.  The birthfather is not in the picture.  One of the major factors in her choosing us is Shay!  Remember when I said that the birthparent to adoptive parent connection can be something very specific?  She wants her daughter to grow up with a sibling and she said that she thinks Shay is cute (I like her already!).  Baby is due August 29th.  With both of her other children, birthmom delivered early so it is highly likely that baby will be born in the next couple of weeks which is crazy to think about!  She prefers direct placement meaning that, once the baby is released from the hospital, she will be put straight into our care.  However, our agency wants to protect us as adoptive parents too so, if it seems like birthmom is wavering in going through with her adoption plan after the birth, baby will be put in interim care until the 10 day revocation period is over (during which time birthmom can change her mind).  This is to guard our hearts so that we do not care for and fall in love with the baby and end up having to relinquish her in case birthmom decides to parent.

I actually hesitated about posting this blog but discussed with Jeff and we thought that it would be good to document the entire adoption experience.  We know that the first step to adopting is to get past the revocation period and then officially/legally adopt about 6 months later.  A lot can happen in the process so we do not want to set ourselves up for heartbreak.  At the same time we know that what is meant to be will be and that the wait, the risk, the worry and everything will be worth it in the end.

We ask for your prayers for baby girl's birthmom during this time.  I cannot imagine what she is going through as she enters the final weeks of her pregnancy and faces such a huge, life-changing decision.