Kyla's Birth Story (4 1/2 Months Later!)

I know it's really late, but I wanted to write out Kyla's birth story. I could have shared it earlier but I enjoyed my maternity leave and have been keeping very busy between taking care of the girls & work that I didn't want to take time out of living life to document it. I have learned so much over the past year that I am excited to share if nothing more than to get it out if my head & have it on record for years down the road as details might get lost over time.

If anyone were to have told me a year ago that I would one day consider my pregnancy with Shay as the easier one, I would have thought they were all kinds of crazy. I'll share more about my second HG pregnancy experience in a future post but I mention it now because it played a big role in the kind of birth I had.

With Shay, I had a spontaneous, all-natural birth after taking Lamaze classes and it was absolutely textbook. I was still in the labor and delivery room when I told Jeff that I'd do a natural birth all over again if we ever had another.  It was a high like no other. Fast forward 4+ years after a much harder pregnancy and the story was different. My OB/Gyn, Dr. Mackey, thought it would be good to induce me as I was so run down, in pain, not sleeping and had HG flaring back up (which leads to dehydration and low amniotic fluid among other things). Though I do believe spontaneous labor is the best case scenario, after much talking with my doctor and Jeff, I decided to go through with the induction.

On the morning of Thursday June 5, 2014, we headed to Centennial Women & Children's Hospital to have a baby! Jeff's parents picked Shay up the night before. We arrived at 7:00am to fill out paperwork, get settled into a labor & delivery room, and get hooked up to IV fluids. Sometime around 9:00am, Dr. Mackey came busting into the room excitedly telling us all about the CMT Music Awards the night before that I had gotten her tickets to. I had joked with her that she wasn't allowed to deliver my baby with a hangover, LOL!

Pitocin was started shortly after and my water was broken. We had an absolutely amazing nurse who made everything so much easier. At some point after pitocin was started, my blood pressure dropped. I wasn't too concerned as that is what generally happens when I'm sick or stressed. The nurse asked me if I was feeling okay and I remember her messing with my IV stand. Jeff tells me I started mumbling non-sense and she had to "put sugar in (my) IV."  Recall kind of feeling light-headed at one point but that was really the only hiccup in the process.

When asked if I wanted an epidural, I was completely torn. I knew that induced labors are more painful and can last much longer than spontaneous ones which made me nervous. Still unsure, I opted to go natural but be open to an epidural and see how it went. Several hours later, contractions were getting intense and the nurse checked me. I had only progressed to about 3 1/2cm but the contraction pain felt like it did when I was at 8cm with my first labor. The nurse told me that "Pit is mean stuff" and had the anesthesiologist come talk with me. I asked him a ton of questions, finally opting to go with the epi because I wasn't really progressing much and didn't know if it would be hours upon hours of more labor.

I was actually really nervous about an epidural. I handle needles just fine (you have to with HG). It's the thought of one going so near my spinal cord that freaks me out. I know people who had complications from them or had them not work properly so I wasn't too keen on the idea. However, after so much pain for months on end paired with coaxing from Jeff and the nurse, I opted to go with it. Everything went really smoothly. It was easier than a PICC placement and that wasn't even bad at all.

One of the things I had discussed with the nurse was hearing of epidurals only numbing one side. She explained that they work with gravity and made sure to shift me from one side to the other. I knew epidurals numbed pain but I had no idea to what extent. I felt absolutely nothing. Went from painful contractions to no pain whatsoever! Jeff laughed at me when I told him I felt like I was cheating. He also kept saying I was  "comfortably numb."

Around 3:30pm, I was only at 4 1/2cm which was discouraging so I decided I'd try to sleep a little. The nurse shifted me to my other side and walked out of the room. Very shortly after, I began feeling really intense pressure but not pain. Since we discussed epidurals working with gravity, I just figured I was suddenly feeling a lot of pressure due to switching sides and it would subside. Though still not in pain, the pressure grew even more. A different nurse came into the room looking for a supply of something and I asked her if the pressure was normal. She said my nurse would be back shortly but that she could check me if I wanted her to. I started to say that I'd wait but midway through changed my mind. She came over and immediately said I was at 10cm. It never even crossed my mind that I could have dialated that much that fast!

My nurse came back quickly and said that I could start pushing but stressed that if she told me to stop, I had to immediately do just that. When I had Shay naturally, there was absolutely no way I could have stopped pushing. I had heard that sometimes epidurals are lowered in order for the mom to have enough feeling to know when to push. I still felt no pain with mine. Midway through the third push, the nurse urgently told me to stop and said we had to wait for Dr. Mackey who, thankfully, was located in the building next to the hospital and arrived just a couple of minutes later. Had the nurse not stopped me, the baby would have been born before Dr. Mackey got there. Once she did, it was literally one push and Kyla was out.

The most memorable moments were as soon as just born Kyla was placed in my arms and she just looked at me. I mean really looked at me. She was so calm and quiet just staring into my soul. I will never forget it. My entire pregnancy was so difficult that I didn't even feel connected to the baby; she felt like a parasite making me sick and causing pain, not my precious daughter. I hate to admit it but I share in case anyone else is experiencing it. It broke my heart that I was not emotionally bonded with her. It made me feel like a terrible mom. All of that vanished the instant she looked into my eyes and I into hers, I loved her. Our bond is even that much closer now that we both made it through HG. I cannot really describe it but I am so incredibly grateful.

Life with Kyla has been such a joy. She is generally a very calm baby and she started sleeping through the night right at 6 weeks, something I didn't think was even possible! Now, at 4 months old, she is smiling a lot and starting to giggle.  She's a tough customer though - we really have to work to get her to laugh.  She often gives us little amused smiles that I swear are courtesy smiles :)

Shay has been amazing with the arrival of her baby sister.  We were worried that she might be jealous but she loves Kyla and has been helpful and so sweet to her, talking to her, guarding her from curious cats and taking "paci duty."

Kyla just minutes after birth. I'm so glad Jeff got this shot.  It's a moment I'll never forget.

Shay meeting her baby sister for the very first time.

My girls!

Jeff got the first poopy diaper!

Guess it wore them both out ;)

Shay holding Kyla for the first time
Heading home from the hospital

My Husband is a Real Life Superhero

Yikes, it’s been 4 months since I last touched this blog. 

I’ll be honest, this pregnancy is absolutely kicking my butt.  I am exhausted and have a headache a good majority of the time as well as bouts of nausea.  Soooo much better than full blown HG, but difficult nonetheless.  I haven’t been able to completely wean off of medications which has been discouraging to me as someone who doesn’t even like to take OTC medication at all.  I still need to take Phenergen pills on occasion but the big thing is that I have to wear scolpolamine patches behind my ears at all times.  They are commonly placed after full anesthesia post-surgery to help people with nausea but, in my case, they keep the HG at bay.  It’s frusterating because I am 24 weeks along and by week 17 of my last pregnancy, I was completely off all meds and had a pretty normal pregnancy.

I’m extremely grateful for my boss and co-workers who have all been so supportive.  I have a really solid team in place and am able to work from home on the bad days.  Short term disability paid my salary at 100% for the months I was out of work and our insurance covered the cost of everything.  I know many women with HG who have lost their jobs due to their inability to work.  It’s heartbreaking and I do not take the blessings that I have for granted.

So, most everyone knows that my husband is Spiderman (and occasionally Iron Man) with Marvel and with a local children’s entertainment company.  What everyone may not know is that he is a real life superhero.  I cannot tell you how much more difficult this 2^nd HG pregnancy would be for me without his love and support.  During those first dark months when I was in the hospital and then bedridden at home with a PICC line, he took care of both Shay and me.  He never once complained about it.  Even now, I am so exhausted after work that I often just crash when I get home.  He feeds & bathes Shay and gets her ready for bedtime.  I have a good deal of mommy guilt for missing so much time and care for our daughter, but he is so encouraging and does a great job with her (and me).

After 2 awful pregnancies with HG, I don’t want to go through it again and Jeff doesn’t want to put me in that situation either.  Thankfully, two kiddos was always our limit anyway.  I feel for the women in my HG support group who want to have more children but cannot because of the physical, emotional & financial toll that HG takes.  

He has given me permission to write about this, so I can post that Jeff got a vasectomy on Feb. 7^th.  This seems to terrify so many men but Jeff really stood up like the superhero he is and “took one (well, really two) for the team.”  He said it was the least he could do after watching me endure HG and childbirth.  He also knows how much harder it is for a woman to have a hysterectomy.  He even opted on his own accord to just do a local anesthetic so that he could drive himeself there and back.  The plan that day was for me to get Shay to school in the morning (he had to leave the house before that time) and for me to pick her back up in the afternoon and bring her to work with me for the rest of the day to give him that time to rest.  However, HG had different plans and, while I was able to get Shay to school in the morning, I ended up vomiting non-stop at work and had to come back home early.  The icing on the proverbial cake was that it was a cold day and I had worn one of Jeff’s winter jackets which I ended up vomiting all over on the drive home.  I walked in the house crying and blubbering like a fool something to the tune of, “I’m so sorry.  The one day I wanted to be able to support you and I can’t even do that.  AND I THREW UP ALL OVER YOUR JACKET!!!”  Jeff just laughed at me and proceeded to take care of me and he went and got Shay from school that afternoon.  Despite it being a crappy day in health land, both of us managed to still see the humor in the situation and I refered to him as “Numb Nuts” all day. 

I will admit that, even with us only wanting two kids, I did have a very slight pang of disappointment that I likely will never have a son.  I’m kind of flying blind at the thought of raising sisters since I never had one growing up.  However, I am extremely happy to know that Kyla will soon be joining our family.  Shay is excited to be a big sister and we can’t wait to see what Kyla looks like and get to know her unique personality.  I can already tell just by her activity in the womb that she is different than her big sister.  She’s super active and strong!  Around this time, I was just starting to feel little flutters/kicks with Shay.  I’ve been able to feel strong, distinctive kicks from Kyla since week 16.  Jeff and Shay have both felt her kick and she already moves my whole belly with her gymnastics/kick-boxing (often at night when I’m trying to sleep).  She can definitely hear now because she went ape one day when Jeff was banging a bunch of metal pans around and Shay starting yelling.  So looking forward to holding her in my arms instead of getting pummeled by her from the inside. 

Jeff is eager to take care of all of his girls.  I am so glad he is not one of those men who only wants boys.  I am also extremely grateful that we are in the position to have one of us stay at home.  Jeff did great with Shay and I have no doubt that he’ll do great with Kyla too.  HG is difficult for everyone.  Jeff has had to step up a lot more with taking care of both Shay and me as well as running the household.  Shay has lost time with Mommy although she is very much a Daddy’s Girl.  The book “Mama Has Hyperemesis Gravidarum (But only for a Little While)" helped and, at 3 years old, Shay is good at empathizing with someone having an illness.  I hear complaints from many women whose husbands are not supportive in the least and it makes be sad for them and even more grateful for Jeff who has promised to be my rock through this experience.  That is a real man and a real life superhero if you ask me.