My Husband is a Real Life Superhero

Yikes, it’s been 4 months since I last touched this blog. 

I’ll be honest, this pregnancy is absolutely kicking my butt.  I am exhausted and have a headache a good majority of the time as well as bouts of nausea.  Soooo much better than full blown HG, but difficult nonetheless.  I haven’t been able to completely wean off of medications which has been discouraging to me as someone who doesn’t even like to take OTC medication at all.  I still need to take Phenergen pills on occasion but the big thing is that I have to wear scolpolamine patches behind my ears at all times.  They are commonly placed after full anesthesia post-surgery to help people with nausea but, in my case, they keep the HG at bay.  It’s frusterating because I am 24 weeks along and by week 17 of my last pregnancy, I was completely off all meds and had a pretty normal pregnancy.

I’m extremely grateful for my boss and co-workers who have all been so supportive.  I have a really solid team in place and am able to work from home on the bad days.  Short term disability paid my salary at 100% for the months I was out of work and our insurance covered the cost of everything.  I know many women with HG who have lost their jobs due to their inability to work.  It’s heartbreaking and I do not take the blessings that I have for granted.

So, most everyone knows that my husband is Spiderman (and occasionally Iron Man) with Marvel and with a local children’s entertainment company.  What everyone may not know is that he is a real life superhero.  I cannot tell you how much more difficult this 2^nd HG pregnancy would be for me without his love and support.  During those first dark months when I was in the hospital and then bedridden at home with a PICC line, he took care of both Shay and me.  He never once complained about it.  Even now, I am so exhausted after work that I often just crash when I get home.  He feeds & bathes Shay and gets her ready for bedtime.  I have a good deal of mommy guilt for missing so much time and care for our daughter, but he is so encouraging and does a great job with her (and me).

After 2 awful pregnancies with HG, I don’t want to go through it again and Jeff doesn’t want to put me in that situation either.  Thankfully, two kiddos was always our limit anyway.  I feel for the women in my HG support group who want to have more children but cannot because of the physical, emotional & financial toll that HG takes.  

He has given me permission to write about this, so I can post that Jeff got a vasectomy on Feb. 7^th.  This seems to terrify so many men but Jeff really stood up like the superhero he is and “took one (well, really two) for the team.”  He said it was the least he could do after watching me endure HG and childbirth.  He also knows how much harder it is for a woman to have a hysterectomy.  He even opted on his own accord to just do a local anesthetic so that he could drive himeself there and back.  The plan that day was for me to get Shay to school in the morning (he had to leave the house before that time) and for me to pick her back up in the afternoon and bring her to work with me for the rest of the day to give him that time to rest.  However, HG had different plans and, while I was able to get Shay to school in the morning, I ended up vomiting non-stop at work and had to come back home early.  The icing on the proverbial cake was that it was a cold day and I had worn one of Jeff’s winter jackets which I ended up vomiting all over on the drive home.  I walked in the house crying and blubbering like a fool something to the tune of, “I’m so sorry.  The one day I wanted to be able to support you and I can’t even do that.  AND I THREW UP ALL OVER YOUR JACKET!!!”  Jeff just laughed at me and proceeded to take care of me and he went and got Shay from school that afternoon.  Despite it being a crappy day in health land, both of us managed to still see the humor in the situation and I refered to him as “Numb Nuts” all day. 

I will admit that, even with us only wanting two kids, I did have a very slight pang of disappointment that I likely will never have a son.  I’m kind of flying blind at the thought of raising sisters since I never had one growing up.  However, I am extremely happy to know that Kyla will soon be joining our family.  Shay is excited to be a big sister and we can’t wait to see what Kyla looks like and get to know her unique personality.  I can already tell just by her activity in the womb that she is different than her big sister.  She’s super active and strong!  Around this time, I was just starting to feel little flutters/kicks with Shay.  I’ve been able to feel strong, distinctive kicks from Kyla since week 16.  Jeff and Shay have both felt her kick and she already moves my whole belly with her gymnastics/kick-boxing (often at night when I’m trying to sleep).  She can definitely hear now because she went ape one day when Jeff was banging a bunch of metal pans around and Shay starting yelling.  So looking forward to holding her in my arms instead of getting pummeled by her from the inside. 

Jeff is eager to take care of all of his girls.  I am so glad he is not one of those men who only wants boys.  I am also extremely grateful that we are in the position to have one of us stay at home.  Jeff did great with Shay and I have no doubt that he’ll do great with Kyla too.  HG is difficult for everyone.  Jeff has had to step up a lot more with taking care of both Shay and me as well as running the household.  Shay has lost time with Mommy although she is very much a Daddy’s Girl.  The book “Mama Has Hyperemesis Gravidarum (But only for a Little While)" helped and, at 3 years old, Shay is good at empathizing with someone having an illness.  I hear complaints from many women whose husbands are not supportive in the least and it makes be sad for them and even more grateful for Jeff who has promised to be my rock through this experience.  That is a real man and a real life superhero if you ask me.