Home Study, Part 1

Our home study has officially begun!

Yesterday our adoption counselor came to our house for a couple’s interview and safety visit. We started out with a basic tour of the house from room to room and then spent some time just talking over some questions about ourselves, the neighborhood, nearby resources, our friends and family, our church and the adoption process. I think it was a plus that we already have our nursery set up and things are child-proofed thanks to Buggy.

Shay did great with our new visitor and provided some comedy as only a 2 year old can get away with – aka: streaking from the bathroom to the living room after a potty break – somehow I think our adoption would have been severely compromised if that had been Jeff or me :) Shay had a brief meltdown when the stack of blocks she was working on fell down but I think it was good for our counselor to see how we handled the situation.

All in all, I think it went very well and was a lot easier than I expected. For the next step we meet at the agency office and have to fill out additional paperwork (in the same room but we aren’t allowed to talk with each other) and then we are interviewed individually. It sounds sort of like an interrogation but I think they are just looking to see if we are on the same page with things. After that, the last step is a service plan meeting where we discuss what we are open to in terms of the type of adoption (open, semi-open or closed, in-state or inclusive of other states) and things like race, gender, physical/mental impairments, etc. Lastly, our counselor will write up our home study and hopefully we’ll be approved. Following a home study approval, we’ll put together our family profile books and online profile and then it’s a waiting game.

I have been asked a lot about how the process works. Our agency is nationwide and places kids of all ages, both domestically and internationally. The middle Tennessee office only domestically places newborns so we will have what Jeff and I like to refer to as a “Waaah, Waaah!” Baby Bootcamp, round 2! In a domestic newborn adoption, the birth mother/parents choose the adoptive family. Hence the need for the family profile books and online profile. I believe at that point if the birth mother/parents want an open or semi-open adoption, a meeting can be arranged between them and the potential adoptive family. How open an adoption is depends on both parties and their comfort level. It can range from communicating on a first name basis only and simply sharing pictures and letters to becoming very close knit in a family or friendship type relationship.

There are a large variety of factors as to what makes a birth mother choose a particular family for her biological child. Sometimes she may be looking specifically for a couple who already has kids, a certain race, a stay at home parent, a couple that has been married for a certain number of years or a combination of these and any other criteria. Sometimes it’s something as simple as a familiar connection such as the adoptive family having the same breed of dog that the birth mother grew up with. You never really know. Jeff and I have spent time discussing what might be an advantage or a disadvantage with us in terms of someone choosing us as parents but, at the end of the day, we just trust that God has it all worked out. It is humbling to think that there may be someone out there who chooses us to raise their child as our own.

We should hear back from our counselor sometime next week to set up our individual interviews and go from there. Hopefully I’ll have more adoption news to share in the coming weeks.

We so appreciate the outpouring of support from our friends and family during this journey!

I’ll leave you with some pictures of our latest adventures:

Shay’s first trip to the circus!

I think she had more fun playing in the water fountains downtown afterward

A fun day at Lucky Ladd Farms

Shay and her buddy Sophia modeling their pretty pumpkin princess dresses/skirts