I was pleasantly surprised when we received our adoption agency’s guide to domestic and international adoption that, on the last page, they had a list of alternative words to use when referring to various aspects of adoption. Thought I’d share them here:
"Rather than --> We suggest…
Real parent --> Birthparent, Birthmother, Birthfather
Natural parent --> Biological parent
Unwed mother --> Single parent
Real child --> Birth child
Illegitimate child --> Child of unmarried parents
Put up for adoption --> Make an adoption plan
Give up for adoption --> Choose adoption
Keep a child --> Parent a child
Hard-to-place child --> Child with special placement needs
Special needs --> Disabilities (physical, emotional, developmental)
Unwanted pregnancy --> Unplanned, unintended, or untimely pregnancy
Find parents --> Search for birthparents
Foreign adoption --> International adoption
“Gotcha Day” --> Family Day* or Adoption Day
The use of terms such as “is adopted,” “was adopted,” or “adoptee” may be appropriate in some situations. Legally, adoption is a one-time event. Adoption is also about joining a forever family, so there is a lifelong aspect to adoption."
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