Waiting...

The adoption process involves a lot of waiting.  Which is fine, because I knew that would be the case long before we ever submitted an application or attended an informational meeting.  At this point, we are waiting for our case worker to contact us to begin the interview and home study process.  I'm told this will likely happen at the end of next week.

I'll be transparent.  The home study sort of freaks me out.  We're putting ourselves, our daughter, our home, our finances, our marriage, our parenting philosophies (basically, our lives) under the microscope to be examined by someone who we've never met.  Someone who will make the judgement of whether or not we are deemed fit to be adoptive parents.  We are willing to make our lives an open book.  We have nothing to hide and everything to gain.  It's still a little nerve-wrecking to me. 

Jeff, on the other hand, is totally calm and confident about our home study.  He's more worried about the what-if's further down the road.  Most especially, receiving placement and falling in love with a baby, only to have the mother change her mind (which she can legally do within 10 days of birth). 

In the meantime, we have plenty of other things to focus on while we're in one of many waiting phases of the adoption process...

Case in point, last Saturday night, Jeff proved that white men CAN jump.  And subsequently land funny, tearing their ACL's and creating cartilage damage in their knees! 

Jeff managed to perform said feat while playing a couple of games of basketball with the neighbors.  On Wednesday he went to see the surgeon who repaired his torn achilles tendon several years back who confirmed that he completely tore his ACL this time (Jeff informed me that he had torn his ACLU - to which I laughed at him).  He has 2 options.  One is to let it heal on its own but that he will not be able to play sports and has a high risk of suffering from arthritis later in life.  The other is to have surgery and get it completely fixed.  We're opting for the latter.  Thankfully, Jeff's folks will be able to help out post-surgery while I'm at work since he'll need to be off his feet for 10 days. 

Oh, and one more random update.  Last night Shay said her 1st sentence!  She was sitting on the potty and our cat wandered into the bathroom.  Shay proclaimed, "Go away cat!"  Haha, I have to remember to record that one in her memory book.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Adoption Bug

We’ve caught the “adoption bug!"

AdoptionBug.com was founded by a husband and wife team who were themselves “bit by the adoption bug” and faced with the daunting financial challenge of adoption. They started AdoptionBug.com and sold custom designed t-shirts to raise funds which proved very successful.  AdoptionBug.com has also partnered with Show Hope to sell “Shirts of Hope."

Established in 2003 as Shaohannah’s Hope, Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth initially founded Show Hope out of their desire to see more children find their way into forever families. Show Hope is a non-profit organization that mobilizes individuals and communities to meet the most pressing needs of orphans in distress by providing homes for waiting children through adoption aid grants and life-saving medical care for orphans with special needs.

Those who know me well, know that I have been a fan of Steven Curtis Chapman since my early teens. Not only do I like his music, but I also admire the heart that he has for God. I thought it was so great that he and his wife started Show Hope after they adopted from China. What a way to really make a difference! Little did I know that years later, I would be applying for a grant through Show Hope.

So both of these organizations are pretty amazing, but why am I blogging about these two in particular? Well, Jeff and I are teaming up with AdoptionBug.com and we now have our own storefront to sell t-shirts in hopes of raising funds to help us bring Baby Burton home! We were able to select 6 designs to sell. 3 of the designs we selected say “I Show Hope” and benefit the Show Hope organization and ALL of them grant us a commission that will go directly toward our adoption fees.

If you would like to purchase a shirt (or several!), please visit our AdoptionBug.com link here. Another way we’re asking for help is to have you, our friends and family, share this link with anyone else you know who may be interested in helping us, helping Show Hope and/or just getting a cool shirt! Facebook, Twitter, blogs, e-mail, signage at workplaces, posting in church bulletins, word of mouth, etc. are all great ways to share. The URL is:

http://www.adoptionbug.com/asiblingforshay

Please contact me if you would like postcards or an email with our link to pass on.

Thank you SO much for your support!

Legacy of an Adopted Child

My mom gave me this poem years ago. I still have it and have always seen it through the eyes of an adopted child. This is the first time I’ve really read it through the eyes of an adoptive mother...

Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother.
Two different lives, shaped to make your one.
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first gave you life and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love, and the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.
One gave you a seed of talent, the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.
One gave you up ... that's all she could do.
The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me, through your fears,
The age old question unanswered throughout the years:
Heredity or environment…which are you the product of?
Neither, my darling, neither
Just two different kinds of love.

~Author Unknown

To the birthmother (and birthfather) who are choosing life and love for our future child, words cannot express the love and respect I have for you...thank you!

Deep Breath, Big Leap of Faith

Deep breath, big leap of faith.  This is my mantra for the next big step in our lives: adoption!  Jeff and I have started the process for opening our hearts and home to an infant through domestic adoption.  We just found out today that our formal application has been approved!

Though we just began the official process of finding an agency and submitting our preliminary and formal applications back in February, I feel like my whole life has really been preparing me for this time.  Having been adopted myself from South Korea at 18 months, I've kind of just had it in my mind ever since I can remember that someday I would like to adopt a child myself.  Thankfully, in Jeff, God gave me my husband/best friend who shares in that dream.

So why did we choose domestic infant adoption?  I guess you could say that it choose us.  From the beginning of our marriage, we had discussed hopes for having a biological child and then adopting a child of the opposite gender from South Korea since there is an obvious connection there for us.  What is the saying?  If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.

Fast forward a few years and we found ourselves in the midst of a 3 year battle with infertility trying to conceive our daughter.  Knowing that we did not want to go down the path of assisted reproductive technology, we sought out a wonderful reproductive endocrinologist who performed a bunch of tests to see if he could determine the problem.  After a few months of vitamin supplements for both of us and a minor surgery to remove my uterine fibroids and polyps, we got pregnant naturally!  The joy was quickly overshadowed by a very bad bout of Hyperemesis Gravidarum that keep me hospitalized twice, bedridden for 3 months and sicker than I've ever been in my life.  You can read my post about that time here.  Against all odds, we welcomed our miracle baby, Shay, into the world on March 15, 2010.

Sometime last year, we began to revisit our original adoption plans and discovered, to our complete surprise and dismay, that the South Korean government will not adopt children to couples with more than a 10 year age gap.  Jeff and I are 11 1/2 years apart.  18 months separate us from being able to adopt from my own native country.  Ironically, the age I was when I was adopted to my forever family.

With our dreams of adopting from South Korea dashed, we were completely thrown for a loop and stepped back to weigh our options.  We even went back to see our doctor to undergo some fertility tests just to see if another biological child was an option (why yes, I was asking myself if I was completely crazy to even entertain the notion of going through H.G. again).  All the while, we were praying for clarity and direction.

Before we got our test results back, we found an adoption agency that we felt very good about and attended an informational session.  It is a long-standing, reputable, Christian based agency with offices all over the country.  The Nashville office only places infants for domestic adoption.  Armed with a new world of possibilities, we prayed once again for clarity.  It came back in the form of a meeting with our doctor who basically told us that there are some issues with both of us that would make our chances of conceiving naturally again next to zero.  I know that hearing "you're infertile" is probably a statement that most people who want kids would not find relief in hearing, but we felt that it was an definitive answer to our prayer.  This launched us fully into the adoption world and we haven't looked back.

Even domestic adoption is likely going to be a long, daunting process.  However, we're excited to start the journey and hopefully be able to bring our baby home one day.  There are a lot of steps to the process, but I'll try to keep this blog updated as we have more news (told you this blog would go in a bunch of different directions).  Please pray for us as you think of it. 

Deep breath.  Big leap of faith...

Shay's New Favorite Snack Recipe - No Bake Energy Bites

Jeff likes to always have Quaker Chocolate Chip Chewy Granola Bars on hand so you can imagine that it didn't take long for Shay to convert to mooch mode as soon as she heard the wrapper being opened.  I decided I wanted to try to find a recipe for homemade granola bars of sorts that would incorporate healthy, non-processed ingredients so I turned to my latest go-to, Pinterest!  What I found was the perfect recipe courtesy of Smashed Peas and Carrots, No Bake Energy Bites.  These were an instant hit and are now a staple in our house.  Nutritious recipe for my toddler and easy to make?  Yes, please!

1 cup whole grain oats
1/2 cup organic peanut butter (or other nut butter)
1/3 cup local honey (I've read that local honey helps build natural allergy immunities)
1 cup toasted coconut flakes, cooled
1/2 cup ground flaxseed (yay for omega-3's!)
1/2 cup mini chocolate chips (okay so one not-so-healthy ingredient, you could probably substitute organic raisins)
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Mix all ingredients together in large bowl until fully incorporated.  Chill in refrigerator for 1/2 hour.  Once chilled, roll into balls and enjoy!  Store in an airtight container and keep refrigerated for up to a week.

(Note: I just spread it into one even layer in a rectangular plastic container and cut pieces as needed instead of rolling into balls).  You could also cut into bar shapes.)

Things No One Tells You Before Becoming a Parent - Vaseline

Back in the day of setting up our baby gift registries, when we had no clue as to what we actually needed, we saw a big 'ol tub of Vaseline labeled for babies.  I'm sure it's just regular Vaseline, but the pink & blue baby label drew in these naive parents-to-be.  It just seemed at the time that it was something we should add to the registry.  It was in the baby section after all!

Fast forward two years and said big 'ol tub of Vaseline has hardly ever been used.  Until 3 days ago when Shay decided to take the lid off and scoop out gobs of it, smearing it all over her arms, legs, clothes, hair, our guest bedroom comforter and her daddy as he tried to grab her.  Bath #1 resulted in getting the goo off of her skin but did absolutely nothing for her hair.  Strike one.  A friend of mine Googled the How To's of how to get Vaseline out of hair.  We tried one of the suggestions of rubbing with baby oil (supposedly to get the Vaseline out) followed by a shampoo (supposedly to get the baby oil out).  Strike two.  We put Shay to bed and she looked like a grease monkey the next morning.  The third attempt involved Dawn dish soap followed by shampoo.  Success!  In fact, quite amazing success (thank you Google, Kristen & Jennifer)!

Moral of the story...don't keep Vaseline within a toddler's reach.  If this fails (which it or something like it will inevitably do), keep a bottle of Dawn handy.

Things No One Tells You Before Becoming a Parent - Toddlers Can Rupture Eardrums

I'm compiling a list of things that no one prepares you for when becoming a parent, the most recent being that loud, shrill screams from your baby can have the power to perforate an eardrum.  That's right folks, Shay literally shrieked a hole right into her Daddy's ear.  My sweet little Seraphina has turned into a banshee!