Hoop Jumping

Let me preface this post by saying that I wholeheartedly believe that adoptive families should be carefully evaluated to ensure that the precious little ones who are awaiting adoption will be brought into loving, safe, stable homes.

That said, I do think that the amount of scrutiny and hoops to jump through are a bit overkill.  I had a couple of days off of work last week and we started checking things off of the adoption to-do list.  On one of the days we both had physicals (including full panel blood work, STD screening, urine analysis and tuberculosis tests) and had our FBI fingerprinting taken.  We had to go back to the doctor the 2nd day and, after a very long wait with an antsy toddler, got the results of our TB tests (negative).  We have yet to go to our local police station to have our information sent to the adoption agency, have a physical done for Shay and get our cat a vaccination update.  That's without really even touching any of the actual paperwork which is substantial.

Surprisingly, the thing that bothers me more is not really the hoop jumping, but the fact the state, actually the United States government at large, will so often allow unfit biological parents to "raise" their children.  While I believe the vast majority of people do the best job they can at raising their kids and want the very best for them, there are also a lot of deadbeat parents out there with innocent kids who are growing up in deplorable conditions. 

Obviously, Child Protective Services works to remove these children from bad living situations but oftentimes, biological parents are given custody again and the very behaviors that resulted in their child(ren) being taken away in the first place repeat themselves.  Am I saying that a person absolutely cannot change and become a good parent?  No, that's not what I'm saying at all.  However, sadly there are still so many who slip through the cracks.  I believe that these biological parents should have to go through just as much as adoptive parents go through during a home study in order to be deemed fit to raise their kids if there is a violation bad enough to have had the kids removed from their care (or lack thereof) in the first place. 

Pomp & Circumstance

Nothing really new to report on the adoption process.  Our stack of paperwork is still sitting in our living room waiting to be addressed along with some online training sessions.  Life & my work have stopped us from taking the time to really focus on the next steps for adoption for the time being.

With Jeff's successful surgery on the 2nd, he is through the hardest part of his recovery.  It's still going to take at least a couple of months before his knee is projected to be fully healed but his doctor was pleased with the way it is healing thus far.  I keep wanting to call his doctor "Tony Stark" but it is, in fact, Christopher Stark.  And he does faintly resemble Robert Downey, Jr.  Considering that Iron Man is completely fictional, I'd say what Christopher Stark does on a regular basis via operating on real life people's bodies to give them a better quality of life is truly heroic.

In the meantime, we're just waiting for a very important, long-time-coming piece of paper in the mail...Jeff's college diploma!  He wrapped up his final class with Middle Tennessee State University with an "A."  He opted not to walk in a graduation ceremony (or hobble as would have been the case), but the accomplishment is what matters most.  So please join me in wishing Jeff a big "Congrats!"  He's earned it.

Goodbye Aslan

I'll update some more on the adoption later, but for now, we have placed our mini mountain of adoption paperwork and study books atop our living room armoire to take care of when we have more time to really focus on it.

Jeff is finishing up his last semester of school and has his ACL surgery coming up next week.  Work has been insane for me trying to get 2 acquired series to air.

Sadly, we had to put our dog, Aslan, to sleep on Monday afternoon after he was at the vet for 5 days due to kidney failure.  It was just too much and he wasn't able to bounce back.  We dropped Shay off at her Mimi and Papa's house and Jeff and I met at the vet to say a tear-filled goodbye to Aslan.  He was the sweetest dog.  So gentle-spirited and patient with Shay. She says, "Azzy, fun.  Azzy, gone.  Azzy hiding" every once in a while.  Thankfully she's too young to really be upset or understand.

In honor of Azzy, here are some pictures...

Aslan and his favorite buddy "Sonic"

We are thankful for the time we had with our good boy.  I'll leave you with some videos.  Aslan was there (and the cause of) some of Shay's first giggles...



Nursery

We have our first meeting with our case worker set up for July 20th!  We're meeting to go over any questions we have and get our home study paperwork.

In the meantime, we're moving furniture all over our house to make way for the results of my trip to Ashley Furniture Homestore last week.  Behold Shay's new "big girl" furniture (that we hope will last her until she's off to college):

Trundle Bed...we thought this would be good for when she falls out of bed, as surely any child of Jeff's and mine will do as we both fell out of bed a lot as kids.  Also great for when she's older and has sleep-overs!

Dresser & Mirror (this is really cool because there are about 10 different color panels in the top drawers so Shay will be able to change out the colors as she grows up and decorates her room)

Matching Chest (also has customizable color panel) 

Ruffle Comforter (love the texture!)

I posted our queen bedroom furniture set (headboard, frame, mattress, boxspring, dresser and mirror) on Craigslist today and it was sold within 10 minutes with multiple people inquiring about it!  Wow, note to self: use Craigslist more often!

This all means that, once Shay's new furniture is delivered, we can start putting together the nursery for baby #2!  I know it might be jumping the gun a bit, but we figured that it wouldn't hurt when our case worker visits our home to see that we are all set up and ready.  We're going to move Shay's current baby furniture into the guest room.

So anyone who plans to visit Casa de Burton will no longer have a queen size guest bed to sleep in but take heart...Shay says she'll share her trundle!

Waiting...

The adoption process involves a lot of waiting.  Which is fine, because I knew that would be the case long before we ever submitted an application or attended an informational meeting.  At this point, we are waiting for our case worker to contact us to begin the interview and home study process.  I'm told this will likely happen at the end of next week.

I'll be transparent.  The home study sort of freaks me out.  We're putting ourselves, our daughter, our home, our finances, our marriage, our parenting philosophies (basically, our lives) under the microscope to be examined by someone who we've never met.  Someone who will make the judgement of whether or not we are deemed fit to be adoptive parents.  We are willing to make our lives an open book.  We have nothing to hide and everything to gain.  It's still a little nerve-wrecking to me. 

Jeff, on the other hand, is totally calm and confident about our home study.  He's more worried about the what-if's further down the road.  Most especially, receiving placement and falling in love with a baby, only to have the mother change her mind (which she can legally do within 10 days of birth). 

In the meantime, we have plenty of other things to focus on while we're in one of many waiting phases of the adoption process...

Case in point, last Saturday night, Jeff proved that white men CAN jump.  And subsequently land funny, tearing their ACL's and creating cartilage damage in their knees! 

Jeff managed to perform said feat while playing a couple of games of basketball with the neighbors.  On Wednesday he went to see the surgeon who repaired his torn achilles tendon several years back who confirmed that he completely tore his ACL this time (Jeff informed me that he had torn his ACLU - to which I laughed at him).  He has 2 options.  One is to let it heal on its own but that he will not be able to play sports and has a high risk of suffering from arthritis later in life.  The other is to have surgery and get it completely fixed.  We're opting for the latter.  Thankfully, Jeff's folks will be able to help out post-surgery while I'm at work since he'll need to be off his feet for 10 days. 

Oh, and one more random update.  Last night Shay said her 1st sentence!  She was sitting on the potty and our cat wandered into the bathroom.  Shay proclaimed, "Go away cat!"  Haha, I have to remember to record that one in her memory book.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Adoption Bug

We’ve caught the “adoption bug!"

AdoptionBug.com was founded by a husband and wife team who were themselves “bit by the adoption bug” and faced with the daunting financial challenge of adoption. They started AdoptionBug.com and sold custom designed t-shirts to raise funds which proved very successful.  AdoptionBug.com has also partnered with Show Hope to sell “Shirts of Hope."

Established in 2003 as Shaohannah’s Hope, Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth initially founded Show Hope out of their desire to see more children find their way into forever families. Show Hope is a non-profit organization that mobilizes individuals and communities to meet the most pressing needs of orphans in distress by providing homes for waiting children through adoption aid grants and life-saving medical care for orphans with special needs.

Those who know me well, know that I have been a fan of Steven Curtis Chapman since my early teens. Not only do I like his music, but I also admire the heart that he has for God. I thought it was so great that he and his wife started Show Hope after they adopted from China. What a way to really make a difference! Little did I know that years later, I would be applying for a grant through Show Hope.

So both of these organizations are pretty amazing, but why am I blogging about these two in particular? Well, Jeff and I are teaming up with AdoptionBug.com and we now have our own storefront to sell t-shirts in hopes of raising funds to help us bring Baby Burton home! We were able to select 6 designs to sell. 3 of the designs we selected say “I Show Hope” and benefit the Show Hope organization and ALL of them grant us a commission that will go directly toward our adoption fees.

If you would like to purchase a shirt (or several!), please visit our AdoptionBug.com link here. Another way we’re asking for help is to have you, our friends and family, share this link with anyone else you know who may be interested in helping us, helping Show Hope and/or just getting a cool shirt! Facebook, Twitter, blogs, e-mail, signage at workplaces, posting in church bulletins, word of mouth, etc. are all great ways to share. The URL is:

http://www.adoptionbug.com/asiblingforshay

Please contact me if you would like postcards or an email with our link to pass on.

Thank you SO much for your support!

Legacy of an Adopted Child

My mom gave me this poem years ago. I still have it and have always seen it through the eyes of an adopted child. This is the first time I’ve really read it through the eyes of an adoptive mother...

Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother.
Two different lives, shaped to make your one.
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first gave you life and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love, and the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.
One gave you a seed of talent, the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.
One gave you up ... that's all she could do.
The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me, through your fears,
The age old question unanswered throughout the years:
Heredity or environment…which are you the product of?
Neither, my darling, neither
Just two different kinds of love.

~Author Unknown

To the birthmother (and birthfather) who are choosing life and love for our future child, words cannot express the love and respect I have for you...thank you!