How's the Adoption Going?

"How's the adoption going?"

This is a question I'm frequently asked so I figured I'd address it here.  The answer has pretty much stayed the same since we first got approval on our home study:  we're just waiting.  

With domestic infant adoptions, the birthparent(s) chooses the adoptive family so there really won't be any forward movement until we get a phone call from our case worker informing us that someone would like to meet us.  We are fully prepared to be in the waiting period for awhile since our agency's average wait time is a little over a year.  Currently, there are 32 waiting families with our agency.  I met one couple who has been waiting for 4 years.  It could be that this couple is extremely specific as to what kind of child they would adopt (specified gender, race, health, family medical history, openness, etc.).  The more that you are open to, the more likely you'll get faster placement.  Or it could just be a bigger picture timing issue.

Whatever the case may be for them, this got us to talking a lot about how long we are willing to wait.  We're definitely in it for a year at which point we would need to renew our home study.  This doesn't involve nearly the time or expense that the initial home study required but we would have a fee involved.  At this point, we'll re-assess where we're at after the 1 year mark.  We definitely do not want to wait past 2 years.  If we have not gotten placement by then, we will stop the process and focus solely on Shay. We do not want to be in a constant state of uncertainty for too long.  So we're just taking it one day at a time and trusting that God has the perfect timing & plan.

The great news is that we are truly happy either way.  While having another child would be amazing, being able to put all of our time and resources into Shay would be a different kind of amazing too.    

3 Years Old

Today is our little girl's 3rd birthday.  Wow, does the time fly!  I don't have any poignant words, hilarious anecdotes or deep, insightful thoughts to share.  Just heartfelt thanks for having this amazing gift from God in my life who brings more joy than words could ever convey.  Love beyond what I ever thought I could feel for this little person who is growing up before my eyes. 

This morning we took Shay in for her 3 year well child visit to the pediatrician.  She is doing so well at all of her developmental milestones and is, as the doctor said, "Perfect, healthy, smart & beautiful!"  She appears to have 20/20 vision (a miracle considering Jeff & I both have terrible vision) and she did well with her hearing test, something they say they typically cannot get 3 year olds to cooperate with.  Shay measured in at 3 ft., 3 in. tall and 31 lbs.  This puts her in the 90th percentile for height, 50th percentile for weight and 10th percentile for BMI (yes, I'm envious of her tall, skinny stats). 

Here is a pic of my little goofball at the pediatrician's office:

I'll post another blog and photos of Shay's birthday party after tomorrow.  Stay tuned.  And happy birthday sweet girl - Mommy & Daddy love you so much!

Sea Starlet

Today was Shay’s 4th swimming lesson. Judging by the way she started crying and generally freaking out as soon as Jeff got her swimsuit out this morning, we both figured it was going to be another tear-filled lesson. Before leaving for work, I gave Shay our customary goodbye hug & kiss and told her to be a brave girl and to not cry during her swimming lesson. Our little girl surprised us and Jeff called me at work this morning to proudly inform me that she did great! She didn’t cry or try to climb out of the pool and she did all of the things that the instructor said to including floating on her back and jumping in by herself. One little boy started to cry and Shay even tried to encourage him telling him that, “It’s okay.” After the lesson, she declared, “Swimming’s fun!"

The instructor even talked to Jeff about trying to switch her to one-on-one lessons on Thursdays instead because she has already learned as much as she was going to get out of her current Tuesday class. She said that Shay is very strong for her age as she can climb out of the pool by herself. I’m not sure how she’ll do without Jeff in the pool with her but he can be in the seating area inside so she’ll have sight of him the whole time.

It’s crazy how fast she’s growing up and how her personality is developing more every day. She constantly amazes (and humors) us with the things she says and does. It’s hard to even believe that she was once this little smile-less baby who cried most of the time she was awake. She’s such a sweet, fun little girl now. I think 3 is going to be the best age yet!

Meet Nuisance

We’ve adopted! Before you get too excited, I have to clarify that we’ve adopted a kitten.

With Stu’s passing, we really felt that we wanted Shay (and Baby #2) to have a furry faced friend to grow up with. We figured sooner rather than later as it would give the kitten a chance to settle in and grow up a little before we add an infant to the mix. That and, it was very sad when we had our first night at home without an animal. We had Stu and Aslan for most of our marriage and the house felt strangely empty without an animal sharing it with us.

Jeff and I had always thought it would be funny to name a cat “Nuisance.” I found this little guy on a local animal sanctuary’s website and immediately fell in love with his photo and personality description. Sure enough, he was super friendly and ridiculously cute in person. We immediately adopted him (man, it is sooooo much easier to adopt a kitten than a baby, LOL!). On the way home, I told Jeff that I didn’t think “Nuisance” fit him as he was such a sweet, pretty kitten. Jeff was pretty set on it though and said, “Oh, just give it a couple of days and he will live up to his name.” So, I went along with it. And he has lived up to his name. He’s so friendly that he wants to get right up in your face. The first night at home, he woke us both up at random times with his nose right up our nostrils! When he’s not sleeping, he likes to pounce on everything that moves including us. Typical kitten hijinks though. He’s a lot of fun & we love him already.

Shay enjoys playing with Nuisance and loves dangling his feather cat toy suspended on a rope in front of him. He chases after her with it and she just squeals with delight. We think they will be good buddies growing up.

Sea Startled

Tuesday was Shay’s second swimming lesson. However, let me back up to actually describe her first one. Of the 6 parents and kids in the group class, Shay was the only girl and Jeff was the only dad there. The rest were moms with their toddler sons. Anyway, Shay eagerly got into the pool and was happy as a clam for the first 5 minutes. Upon the teacher’s instructions of having the kids hold onto the side of the pool, she had a breakdown once she realized Daddy was letting go of her at which point she began crying and trying to get out of the pool – which she proceeded to do for the remaining 25 minutes of class. At one point, the instructor had the kids sit on the edge of the pool and had the parents pull them into the water by their wrists, causing them to briefly go underwater before bobbing up to the surface. Shay did not like this one bit. More crying and insisting, “I want to get out now!"

Thankfully, the instructor was very calm as were the other parents saying that the toddlers almost always react that way the first few lessons but that they eventually learn. I’m glad Jeff is so good with Shay and stays calm despite her freaking out. Not sure if I would have been able to handle it as well. The instructor actually told Jeff that it is harder for moms not to react to their babies being upset. Leave it to our daughter, despite all of the dramatics, to loudly declare, “I like swimming!” just minutes after the lesson ended prompting a mock-exasperated, “Well ya could’ve fooled me!” from Jeff and laughter from the other parents.

The second lesson went a little better but, from what Jeff tells me, still involved a lot of crying and “I want to get out’s” from Shay. We’ve been working on telling her how great it is that she can go underwater which always illicits a proud, “I close eyes under water!” response. Hopefully 3rd lesson’s the charm!

Here’s a pic of our little aquatic drama queen all ready to go before her first lesson:

Goodbye Stu

On Tuesday we said goodbye to Stu, our pet cat. She was 15 years old and had been with Jeff since 1999. Tuesday night was the first night at home that we didn’t have any pet with us and it felt really sad and strange. It’s amazing how much you get used to seeing an animal lounging somewhere in the house or following you around (or trying to avoid Shay).

A few days ago, I explained to Shay that Stu was getting ready to go to Heaven. She said, “Stu go to Heaven with Azzy” and continued to repeat that over the past couple of days. This morning she woke up and the first words out of her mouth were, "Stu's in Heaven."  She has only ever known having a pet around so we weren’t sure how she was going to react. She cried once but that was pretty much it and she doesn’t appear to be too sad. I don’t think she really understands at 2, almost 3, years old. Or perhaps I have that completely wrong and her young, child’s heart has a better grasp of Heaven than my 30 year old mind can comprehend.

Neither Jeff nor I expected that Stu would pass just 6 months after we lost Aslan. We figured she’d be around forever seeing as how she survived being mauled by 5 dogs and lived through a bad spider bite. It was her time though and we’re glad that she was able to spend her last days at home with us where she was comfortable. We will miss her funny, quirky personality, her loud purrs when she was being petted or brushed and the way she’d chase Jeff around grabbing at his ankles when she was feeling particularly frisky.

After much discussion, Jeff and I decided that we do want Shay to grow up with a pet. Since we’re awaiting adoption of a baby, we wanted to go with a lower maintenance pet so we will get her a kitten, not a puppy. While it in no way will replace Stu in our hearts, we hope that a kitten will provide a little buddy for Shay that can grow up with her and hopefully be around most, if not all, of her childhood.

Sea Star

Shay starts her very first swimming class next Tuesday! We enrolled her at Sea Star Swim School which specializes in infant/toddler swimming lessons. We think it’s very important for her to learn how to swim at a young age. We would have enrolled her sooner, but there was a waiting list. She and Jeff will be in the classes together. We joked that he will likely be swimming in toddler pee. I knew there was a reason I want to do the Mommy & Me gymnastics classes with her instead of swimming lessons!

I’m not sure if she’ll freak out or if she’ll love it. Her only experience with a big body of water was a visit to Old Hickory Lake when she had just turned a year old. She had no fear whatsoever back then and toddled right into the cold water. She typically loves baths and likes to pretend to swim in the tub. However, she recently went through a 2-3 week period in which she was terrified of the bathtub or, more specifically, of going down the drain. (insert sarcasm) Thank you Finding Nemo!

Shay has been talking up a storm and makes us laugh with the most off-the-wall conversation. Cases in point:

Me: “Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream…"
Shay: “That’s ENOUGH Mommy!"

Shay: (while sitting by herself at the kitchen table eating cheese) “Not yummy for Mommy but yummy for MEEEE!"

Shay: “Meow"
Jeff: “Are you a cat?"
Shay: “No, I’m Shay Bug!"

Shay: (pointing at a tampon) “That’s a coupon Mommy!"

I wish I had a recorder set to capture everything she says one day. It’s amazing how her grasp of words and concepts is growing so fast and how her personality is showing more by the minute.